Dolph Norris

Dolph Norris is a name that many of you are familiar with.  Some of you love him, some of you hate him and some may even fear him. His music is unique, but just who is the man behind the sound and what makes this man tick?
For anyone unaware of Dolph’s existance, his music can be heard on his myspace (at your own risk).  We suggest anyone with a heart condition should consider listening at minimum volume.   Enjoy the music and the read!

Piewatch – Your music is fresh and unique… What is it you wish to achieve in the music industry?

It is the music industry that wishes to achieve me. What I want is to get Dr.Alban out of it.

Piewatch – You were born as Dolph Hasselhoff and later on met your true father Chuck Norris, after which you changed your name to Dolph Norris.  How did this affect you (apple does not fall far from the tree?) and how did your step father react to the name change?

Dolph & Lord Vader on the razz!!

Chuck is my half-brother, not my father. I am way too busy for these journalistic missteps. Even Dr.Alban knew that.

Piewatch – You are quite a traveler – you spent 3 years in Uganda and it seems that most of your musical inspiration has come from that place.  What was so special about Uganda that it left such an impact on you?

It was the one place I could hide from Dr.Alban

Piewatch – Another experience that left it’s mark on your music was your alien abduction in 1999, resulting in your song Uku rudhu agh. What was it like on the planet of Endor and how did you return to Earth?

It was quite pleasant to be away from Dr.Alban for awhile. When they released me, I asked them to abduct him permanently,
but alas, they refused.

Dolph Rockstar

Piewatch – What message does your music send to listeners? What do you want them to feel while listening to it?

 Passion, love and a frustration with Dr.Alban

Piewatch – There is nothing greater for a father than to see his son follow in his footsteps. Your son Lord Vader Norris has also decided to make inroads into the music industry. How does that make you feel?

It makes me very angry. Lord’s job is to organize my busy schedule, and keep Dr. Alban from disturbing it.
This is a 24-hours a day task, and demands all of his attention. His so-called music lack passion anyway!

 

Piewatch – Can we expect the two of you to join forces one day? Is a musical duo on the horizon?

Yeah. The day Dr. Alban comprehends the concept of being busy and pigs sh*t sugarcoated carrots.

Piewatch – You are a man of many trades and skills. You get lots of offers from various advertisers but have had to turn them down because of your busy schedule; you however accepted one – how come?

I’m not answering that one. Frankly I find the question offensive, and I resent the implication.

Piewatch – What are you doing at the moment? Any new projects we can look forward to?

Dolph Indie

Right now I’m taking time out of my extremely busy schedule to answer these feeble questions.
Later I’ll write a modern symphony which deals with the issues of being a bonafide man in a modern society,
while having to fend of ghouls like Dr. Alban on a daily basis.

Piewatch – You have dedicated a few songs to some special people in your life.  What does it take to impress you enough to warrant a song dedication?
Love, passion and the ability to recognize the sheer power and complexity of my craft. And much unlike Dr. Alban,
one needs to respect my busyness. I try to avoid men with a bigger mustach than mine.

Piewatch – There are theories that in the future, the world could run as a singular government with one world leader.  If this honor would by any chance come to you, what would the new world order be like?

ABSURDLY conservative! Everything should go back EXACTLY to what it was like in the 1950s.
And of course Dr.Alban would be deported to the moon.

Piewatch – Celebrities nowadays market themselves through music alongside  various other products, from perfume to underwear. Have you ever considered branding Dolph Norris?  Which product would you deal with (and why?)?

Dolph in Uganda

My fiercely handsome features have in the past landed me alot of modelling offers.
However, busy as I am I turn down all offers nowadays or pass on the really bad ones to Dr.Alban.

Piewatch – There is one thing that our female readers are just dying to know.  Are you single? And if you are, what would a girl need to do to catch your attention? What about your son?

There are only four woman who hold the key to my busy heart.
1. Princesstasha
2. Lauraful
3. Amanda Jo Williams
4. Margareth Thatcher (before she slept with Dr.Alban)

Piewatch – Well  Dolph, thank you for taking the time to do this interview.  We appreciate you are a very busy man! Anything else on your mind you would like to add in closing?

Yes,
Dear fans and devoted followers, I hope you fully appreciate how remarkebly lucky you are to have me as your idol.
I hope me taking time to do this feeble interview will rid you of all doubt regarding the pure genorosity of my heart.
As thanks, I expect you all to do what you can to spread bad rumours about Dr.Alban.
Sincerely yours,

Dolph Norris