Welcome to our latest Piewatch Competition!  In celebration of the festive period we have decided to run our Piewatch ‘Christmas’ Competition.   Read on for details!

THE RULES

1) STP Chris recently wrote his letter to Santa, with a rather long wishlist of presents.  Unfortunatly for STP Chris, he cannot actually remember what he asked for, and judging by this video message from Santa, it would appear the full list didn’t get delivered!!

2) There are a variety of Christmas related icons hiding somewhere in our Piewatch articles, interviews and features.  (see below) 

3) When you come across an icon, click it to reveal a present that was listed in STP Chris’  letter to Santa!

4) There were 8 presents on STP Chris’ Christmas wishlist.  When you have found them all, contact us at info@piewatch.co.uk with the full list of presents and your STP username.

5) All winning entries will be placed in a hat and the winner drawn at random.

6) The winner will recieve a secret santa goody bag including exclusive musical goodies from a selection of STP artists. 

THIS COMPETITION IS NOW CLOSED

 Congratulations to STP member Portos86 who correctly listed STP Chris’ Santa list as follows;

*Assortment of Biscuits *Hoffmeister Speedos * The Ninja Handbook

 *Go Go Hamster *Watch *Saved By the Bell Boxset

 *Relaxation Balls *Lazy Town Sporticus Outfit

Starring;

NinjaCodders – Mad Proffessor

TheSpen – Wolfman

Kinetic X – Frankestein

Trav (Machine OEM) - Dracula

SpoiltVictorian –  Ms Adams 

Welcome to our latest Piewatch Competition! As you all know, the world recently celebrated ‘International Talk Like A Pirate Day’ in September. In true pirate tradition, we’ve decided to extend the celebration by running this swashbuckling competition. If that wasn’t ‘booty’ enough, the winner will get to handpick the Piewatch Artist of the Month for December!!! A great chance to give some exposure to your artist of choice!

THE RULES

1) Watch the above music video

2) Write a ‘review’ for the track! The review must be at least 30 words and written in ‘Pirate talk’

3) Email us at info@piewatch.co.uk or click the ‘contact us’ tab above, and send us your review. Include your STP username as well as the name (with STP profile link) of the STP artist you would like to see featured as the Piewatch ‘Artist of the Month’ for December!

4) To help you out, be sure to use this useful ‘Pirate Speak Translator’ tool……The Piewatch team will judge reviews based on how constructive and comical they are.

Status: This competition is now closed.  Thankyou to everyone that entered!

Competition Winner; Steve81

‘set sail for life on the ocean with this swashbuckling cut(less) of a track – prepare to be invaded by europop cannon drum beats and beards a wonder – ever seen a pink pirate arrr, you have now. so hop along on one leg and bring your parrot – you can buy it as a download, not too dear just pieces of eight, just dont download illegaly as piracy is a big no no’

2nd Place; BeanoChris

‘Yarr! The bass be deeper than Davy Jones’ locker, but yonder vocals be as rough as the waves of the seven seas, and yarr lyrics be dafter than a tipsy cabin boy.. These shipmates should spend more pieces of eight on yar production, lest they sleep with yarr fishes tonight!’

 3rd Place; Infamous Kayber

‘Arrr, shi’er me timbers!….Aye, im amazed. A pence for an old man o’de sea?Arrr, he would put Beyonce t’ shame with those dance mo’es, argh!Ahoy, not sure that he should jirate so much with those tousers on though, shiver me timbers! Aye, great ‘ocal ability and fun for the whole family t’ sin’ along too. Ye’ll ne’er get me buried booty! Aye, definately a chart topper and dancin’ legend from afar! Arrr, he could be the fifth member o’ Take That and do mightily mightily well at my local pub with those ‘ocals, gar! Where can I find a bottle o’rum?’

Your recommended artists will feature on the site in the near future!

From left to right... err well Chris is in the middle!

Piewatch – Bot or not? There is debate as to whether you are even human….how many pressups can you do in a minute? (we believe the answer should bring closure to the debate)

A.    Not. When I do press ups I don’t go up and down, the world does!

Piewatch – How did you come to be involved with STP?

A.    The question is more so how did STP get involved with me?

Screech from Saved By The Bell

Piewatch – You are known to STP members for your polite and friendly emails.  Does this require specialist training like yoga or tai chi.  Do you ever get mad or lose your cool?

A.    You cannot train to be STP Chris

Piewatch – How many emails do you recieve a day. What is the naughtiest and funniest email you have recieved to date?

A.    I receive hundreds upon hundreds of emails, most of which are standard love letter types the remainder is stunt double for Screech from saved by the bell job offers

Piewatch – What is the most recurrent question you recieve?

A.    Do you know you look like screech?

Piewatch – Do you work with the rest of the team, or do you have your own little communications cupboard? Do they let you out for breaks?

A.     I’m allowed out for runs in the paddock

Piewatch – Do you ever recieve great ideas, then pass them off as your own in order to get extra biscuits from STP David?

A.    Nope, I’m good at making others think they came up with the idea to boost team morale

Piewatch – What is your biscuit of preference, and are you prone to sharing or hoarding?

A.    Party rings, which you have to consume whilst attending a party of course, meaning you have to share.

Piewatch – Congratulations on your recent promotion to company mascot. Did you find any of our costume suggestions useful for your new role? (link)

STP Chris

A.    No unfortunately not ,  no offense but your still thinking within the box

Piewatch – Obviously, Friday is fancy dress day at the STP office…..what has been your favourite fancy dress theme to date?

A.    Normal dress code/cross dress code

Piewatch – What was the best thing DCD has come as?

A.    A carrot

Piewatch – Did you realise you looked like Screech from Saved By The Bell? Is he a relative?

A.    As noted above

Piewatch – Who is your favourite artist on STP and why?

A.    Mr Furious Styles SOP, that man is serious! He knows how to set the tone nicely for a night full of romance with your loved one.

Piewatch – Which of the Piewatch arcade games do you play during work hours…we know you do!

A.    Stalker! Piewatch – Yes, yes we are!

Piewatch – If you could have any super power what would it be?

A.    Power of stopping time

Piewatch – Elvis dead or alive?

A.    Derrr

Piewatch – Pirates or Ninjas?

A.    Pirates, Dirty Filthy Pirates

Piewatch - Any irrational phobias?

A.    I’m  not familiar with the term ‘Phobia’

Piewatch – Any last comments of messages you would like to convey to your legions of fans?

A.    “If music be the food of love, play on”

-Shakespeare

Piewatch – *Swoon*

Dolph Norris

For anyone unfamilar with the legend that is ‘Dolph’, we advise you to listen to Dolph’s tracks at full volume (excluding pregnant mothers and anyone suffering with a heart condition).

Le 3 grazie feat Walter

A selection of ‘interesting’ acapellas from this Italian Quartet.  “The Yogurt’ leaves a somewhat stange aftertaste, and the lads rendition of ‘Stand by Me’ adds a new flavour to the mix.

AssWad

Bringing their own brand of Reggae, ‘Dem Bowys fram di wad’ assault the ears with a barrage of verbal obscenities and sexist undertones.  Parental Advisory – Explicit Lyrics!

Ultralaser

If Super Mario Brothers made music, it probably wouldn’t sound like this.  A variety of genres all with a gaming twist. ’Dance Dance Night Away’ FTW (where’s the glow rods!) 

Lord Struttalot

Somewhere within the madness lies two very talented individuals.  This acoustic duo create amazing vocal harmonies that are guarenteed to transport you to an audio landscape of pure bliss.

Pandaredski

It is not often that new genres are created.  Pandaredski on the other hand creates a new genre almost every time he creates a track.  Another lengendary figure on Slicethepie, with hidden potential.

Fleabites

It goes without saying, any band that views ’Chickenhunter’ as a source of inspiration is off to a good start.  The track ‘Shoegazing’ is different…to say the least.

Hound Dawg

Hound Dawg didn’t have a profile pic, but if he did, it would look like this.  As one member of Slicethepie commented – Hound Dawg will ‘wear your skin as a coat’.

The Blake Moore Project

Give one man a guitar and he will sooth your woes and lift your spirits.  This is not that man, but he has been let loose with a guitar. 

Chickenhunter

Swine Flu? Ha….What you gonna do – when the chickens come for you? The question asked in their track ‘They Come From Mars’.  Certainly makes you wonder…..

Has this article left you in need of therapy? Leave a comment below and tell us why!